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Fathers/Daughters (Father’s Day, Part II)

Posted by stephenboutry on

I have been a father for over 9 months now and I love it. There are so many things to say about parenthood and how it is shaping me, challenging me, growing me. It’s a long list, and I have more to say about it than I would have ever imagined.

So, let me keep this post short and sweet by sharing this: here’s the thing I love the most about being Marina’s dad. I love that I am dad (read: male, father) and that she is daughter (read: a girl).

For some reason I have had the sense that part of my destiny, to sound dramatic, has always been to be a father to a girl. Not that I don’t want a boy, or have never imagined parenting a son, but somehow I always knew there would be a girl, and I am so ecstatic this girl is Marina.

Why did I think this to be my destiny? I’m not sure. Maybe it was having two sisters. Maybe it was having several good friends who were girls. Maybe it’s my experience shepherding young women as a campus minister.

It’s just a sense I’ve had.

There’s something precious and important about the ways father’s treat their daughters. I’ve seen it in my family, and I’ve seen it in the lives of friends, and in the students I work with. A father makes a tremendous impact on his daughter’s life for good and for bad.

Amy is an amazing mother and I marvel at her work and way with Marina each and every day. And yet, there are some things that Marina needs from me that Amy can’t give her (and, of course, the opposite is also true).

Time will tell if I will be a good father or not. I hope and pray and strive to be a good dad.

What I do know is this: I believe I was meant to do this…not just to be a dad, but to be a father to a daughter. And I love it, I relish this challenge, and it’s all a bit frightening, but I am also hopeful and excited about where this journey will lead!

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Father’s Day

Posted by stephenboutry on

I hope to post some thoughts on fatherhood this week, but for now I want to say that I had an incredibly blessed first father’s day weekend. Saturday night, which was one of the best weather days I can ever remember in Boston, we hung out with neighborhood friends. The moms conspired together to speak words of encouragement to the dads and it was a precious moment.

Sunday morning the girls made me breakfast while I got to sleep in (a treat all by itself). Marina even signed the card with a squiggly line. Very awesome.

My wife and daughter are amazing and bless me in innumerable ways each and every day…father’s day is, for me, as much about remembering that as anything else.

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Bono, Grace, Barna, Mornings, and JSF #links

Posted by stephenboutry on
  1. Bono on why he is banking on Grace over Karma
  2. Speaking of Grace, here’s a great post/resource on the best of gifts
  3. Barna continues to pump out fascinating information on the Hispanic population
  4. I’ve never been a morning person, but this article on the power of mornings is right on. Not always up early by choice, but I find it is now my most productive time by far!
  5. “Technology celebrates connectedness, but encourages retreat” by my favorite writer

Managing rest, Shifts in Poverty, and How to be more like Jennifer Lawrence

Posted by stephenboutry on
  1. Donald Miller on how to manage rest time and the introverted need to be “off”
  2. Poor moving out of cities an into suburbs
  3. How to be more like Jennifer Lawrence and less like Anne Hathaway in your writing
  4. A wise response to John Piper’s recent twitter fiasco
  5. Projects vs. Presence in neighborhood work

Some Thoughts on Collaboration

Posted by stephenboutry on

When I hear the word “collaboration” I tend to break out in a rash. Collaboration conjures up horrible group project assignments from high school and college where I ended up doing all the work and getting half the grade I could have received working solo.

I hear pretentious educators dropping buzz words into conversations in the lunch room as a way to rip on each other.

I see bloggers who talk about the joys of collaboration in almost every post but don’t give you the time of days when you offer your services.

I get shivers thinking about conferences I’ve been to with big white boards and breakout sessions where people from different ministries get to share “ideas”.

My ideal work situation (for writing, planning, etc) would be to have an office, in a cabin, in a wooded area, with large windows overlooking a body of water, with many, many books, and no other people around. Introvert dream!

Despite that fundamental aversion, it turns out that I spend a good amount of time collaborating. Everything from planning semester activities with Sojourn to writing sermons with REUNION is done in a team context.

And it’s good.

I was reflecting on this other day when I considered how funny it is, given my natural tendencies, that I spend so much time working with people on projects.

This is probably why I blog. It’s like an outlet for solo endeavors.

What I want to say is this: when you trust people and love the people you work with, collaborating is great, and it’s fun, and it’s productive.

But without those two ingredients it’s a sort of Steve-kryptonite .

So, find people you love to work with and get some stuff done!